Silly Signs Part Nine

On a recent trip, we discovered that Thailand may have Singapore beat in the weird sign department. A couple of examples:

A sign for a bakery...I hear they have great homemade lemonade! Hehe.

Just don't ask the secret ingredient...

Right down the beach from the Pee Pee Bakery is this gem. Apparently people drink too much, and their judgment is so impaired that they eat at the Pee Pee Bakery and make out with the fishes. Seriously, people. Drink responsibly, or you might find yourself making out with a swordfish.

Please refrain from getting amorous with the marine life.

So it seems that Thailand has some pretty sweet signage, but Singapore's still holding its own. Check out this sign from Outram Park MRT station. Other places might be more silly than Singapore, but I think Singapore is holding the top spot for being BLUNT. In the U.S., this sign would probably say something a little more euphemistic, like "Don't talk to strangers," or "Never trust an adult you don't know," but here they just come out and say it- that guy is probably a creepy child molester.

Probably a molester. Also, probably makes out with fish.

But Thailand can be no-nonsense at times too. Apparently they take soliciting very seriously on some of the beaches, and post signs to prohibit it. I just love the image- NO WALKING AROUND WITH BASKETS!

I need to post one of these next to my front door.

Also from the "supposed to be serious but made me laugh anyway" category, the signs from Singapore's recent election. There were signs EVERYWHERE in the weeks leading up to polling day. No big deal, except that the signs has the symbols for the political parties, two of which were hilarious. Apparently the Singapore Democratic Party fancies itself a bit intergalactic, and chose the Starfleet insignia from Star Trek as their emblem. Seriously! Tell me this doesn't look the Star Trek logo!

Live long and prosper, SDP

Star Trek logo

The People's Action Party also opted for a fanciful emblem, going a little more superhuman than intergalactic. Does their logo remind you of anything? I kept thinking that the PAP's logo looked like it belonged on a superhero's leotard. Then I realized that I might be thinking that because I'd already SEEN it on a superhero's leotard! THE FLASH!

Looks perfect for a superhero, right?

The Flash has superhuman speed

Sometimes all the election stuff could get annoying, particularly because trucks drive around with bullhorns mounted on them, belting out messages about voting for so-and-so. But when the election stuff got to be a little much, I'd just look at the signs and imagine that the election was really a race between The Flash and Captain Kirk, and that made the whole thing a lot more fun. And now that I know that Singapore is governed by superheroes and Vulcans, I finally understand how they keep the crime rate so low!

Thailand Day Five: The Islands

The night before our last day in Thailand we'd worked out a deal with Ao Nang Travel and Tour company. We'd be picked up in the morning at our hotel and taken to the docks, where we'd depart for a tour of some of the nearby islands. We'd  snorkel, we'd have lunch, and at the end of it all, they'd put us on a ferry to Phuket, and once in Phuket someone from the company would take us to the airport. A lot of the time we like to avoid organized tours because they tend to be whirlwind affairs in which a group of people are herded from place to place all day. But sometimes the organized tours are so popular that it's difficult to see the same places without joining up with a group or paying a lot of money for a private tour. Anyway, it was kind of nice to surrender control to someone who promised to have us to the airport on time after a day of hanging out on beautiful islands. It definitely beat the heck out of haggling with taxi drivers for a ride to Phuket.

We enjoyed another feast-like breakfast at Ao Nang Villa before checking out and meeting our ride to the docks, where we hung around awhile before boarding a speedboat.

Longboats at the dock

Switching longboats

We boarded the speedboat, which idled for awhile before pulling up alongside a ferry, where a bunch more people joined us, filling up the little boat.

Ferries and speedboat

Once everyone had boarded the speedboat, our guide explained that we'd be making five stops at different islands throughout the day. We'd originally thought we were only making four stops but he said we were making an extra stop "especially for the ladies." Whatever that meant. Once he was done talking, the driver cranked up the power and we sped off. It was a crystal clear day, and we sped along with the wind in our hair for awhile before slowing to dock at our first stop, Tup Island.

Tup Island

 Tup was beautiful! As soon as the boat docked, I tugged my snorkeling stuff out of my backpack, walked down the beach, and swam out into the water. Bryan decided to walk around a bit and snap some photos. Underwater, everything was peaceful and blue. I don't think I've ever snorkeled in such clear water - even when I got into water over 15 feet deep, I could still see perfectly clearly all the way to the bottom. Just like at Ko Phi Phi, there were lots of sea cucumbers, but there was other stuff too: lionfish, brain coral, colorful anemones, and more. I was afraid I might be losing track of time out there in my own little world, hypnotized by the sparkling water, bright sea life, and the Darth Vader sound of my breathing through the snorkel. Sure enough, when I trudged back onto the beach it was almost time to go. Bryan looked about baked to death, but he'd had fun walking around with his camera.

At low tide, you can walk from Tup to another small island

If you look closely you can see my black hair and blue snorkel

View from Tup

After exploring the small island for awhile, everyone clambered back onto the speedboat for the short ride to the next stop, the intriguingly named Chicken Island. The guide kept saying that we'd soon see where the island got its name, but I couldn't help but laugh when he pointed triumphantly at an island that looked kind of like a turtle to me. After squinting and cocking my head to the side I saw a turkey. At least I was in the poultry family.

It's an island! It's a turtle! It's a turkey! It's a...chicken?

Random island we passed by. What a perfect day!

We didn't actually stop at Chicken, instead speeding along to Poda (I think. There were lots of unfamiliar Thai island names whizzing by my ears) to snorkel. Near the island, we all hopped out of the boat and into the clear water. It's weird when you can see straight down into the water from the boat, especially when there are a bunch of fish in the water that you're jumping into, and you can see them plain as day. The snorkeling off Poda was the best yet- there were tons of zebra fish, tang, long skinny fish that looked like pipes, latticed butterfly fish, sergeant fish, and more. My favorite were huge clams, some of them over a foot across. When I dove down close to them, they would hunch into themselves, literally "clamming up." It was a little disorienting to snorkel around the bases of the huge limestone structures that jut out of the water- there were all sorts of varying depths with nooks and crannies that made you feel like JAWS might pop up just around the next corner. Sadly we still don't have an underwater camera to document what was the coolest part of our day, but trust me: it was gorgeous.

Mask-marked faces

Snorkel spot

After all the snorkelers hauled ourselves back into the boat, we were off to another island. I definitely didn't catch the name of that one. We had about an hour on that island, and most people spent it soaking up sunshine and eating Cornetto ice cream cones purchased from one of the local kids selling them out of coolers they lugged around, or cobs of corn cooked on little makeshift grills on the beach.

Longboat snackbar

Instead of chilling on the beach, Bryan and I got our snorkel gear and went out into the water. Although this island wasn't far from the last place we'd snorkeled, there was new stuff under the waves. We saw tons and tons of spiky black sea urchins, and lots of gently waving anemones, some with clown fish peeking out. Some of the things we'd seen before were also there: clams, lionfish, sea cucumbers, etc. After about half an hour, we went onto shore to walk around. There was a little temple in the middle of the island, particularly scenic with the water as a backdrop.

After some time poking around on No-Name Island, we headed off for lunch at Railay Beach. Lunch was a buffet at a restaurant. I hesitantly reminded the tour leader that I'm vegetarian (I hate being an inconvenience about it) and he grinned and said "Vegetarians are the nicest people I know! They all have kind hearts," then he told Bryan and me to have a sit with two Indian guys on the tour, one of whom was also a vegetarian. They turned out to be interesting company. One had a daughter in Michigan and both had been to Singapore, so we chattered about the U.S. and Singapore over yummy vegetarian food. After lunch, Bryan and I walked to the end of the beach and I gave snorkeling a shot, but the water was murky there, so I just went for a swim instead. I swam out and around the end of a cliff and found a hidden little cove on the other side. It was beautiful and peaceful but I didn't linger long. Hidden away on the other side of the cliff as I was, I was afraid that Bryan might think I'd drowned. I headed back to shore and together we walked back to the boat, and zipped off to the next spot.

Riley at Railay : )

Unstable looking rock formation

Krusty Krab

*Ahem* This next paragraph is about the "surprise for the ladies" our guide had been talking about. You may want to skip it if you're reading with small children...or if you're uptight.

Our next stop was Phra Nang, the so-called "bonus" island, where we'd get the surprise for the ladies that our guide had been smiling about all day. When the boat came to a stop at the beach, he motioned for everyone to stay seated, and he said "This is the ladies' island. There is a temple here. It is called the princess temple. It is full of...how do you say...I'm sorry, my English, I don't know the right English. It is full of dicks." (confused faces and raised eyebrows) "You know? Dicks?" he made a phallus shape with his hands "Dicks?" (a smattering of giggles) "The story is that a girl, a princess, came here. She had no boyfriend. There was a storm and she died. WITH NO BOYFRIEND. She died." He said this with a gravity that implied that to die with no boyfriend was the worst fate imaginable. "After she died, women started to bring her the dicks because she died with no boyfriend. For her. So she would not be lonely." I snorted and I was not the only one unable to contain myself. Giggles had progressed to guffaws. But he was done with the story, and everyone scrambled out of the boat to journey to the penis temple...I mean the princess temple.

Phra Nang

Before we made it to the cave housing the infamous temple, I spied something exciting. Macaques! The first ones we'd seen on our trip! They were trotting along a wall surrounding a fancy resort on the island. We were the only ones that had noticed them. People lying on the beach were oblivious to the monkeys romping around right behind their heads. As we watched, one brave male inched closer and closer to the people, singling out one girl sleeping on the beach (or, more accurately, singling out her ice cold beverage). With his target acquired, he scurried down a nearby tree trunk, snapped up the juice sitting next to her on the sand, and scampered back up the tree with the plastic cup clenched firmly between his teeth. Hilarious! We weren't the only ones to notice the little escapade, and the sleeping girl was awoken by gasps and laughter. When she sat up, she looked around, confused by all the people standing around her previously quiet beach spot. For a second she seemed to think they were all looking at her and she looked flustered. Her exasperation grew when she looked around and noticed her missing drink. Finally she looked above her, where the monkey sat, sticking his hand into her drink and then slurping the liquid off his hand, over and over.

The Great Monkey Caper

We stood and watched the monkeys a while longer, but the big excitement was over. However, just as we turned to walk away, something else exciting happened. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted something soaring through the clear blue sky overhead. A hornbill! It coasted to the limestone rock face, then perched there for a moment before flying off again, never giving Bryan a very good photo opportunity. While Bryan tried to photograph the hornbill, I also noticed a much smaller bluish-gray bird sharing a tree with some of the monkeys. So Bryan snapped a couple of photos of him too before we moved on.

Hornbill

Purty

Phra Nang had the most beautiful rock formations yet, and we admired the huge stalactites hanging off the cliff as we strolled down the beach.

Stunning

Temple is in the cave on the bottom left

Directly adjacent to this arresting site is the strange temple we'd heard so much about. The princess temple is nestled snugly in a cave, with all the usual temple trappings- a small altar and some flowers. But you don't notice any of that, because you're too busy staring at the mountain of phalluses (phalli? when I started this blog, I never thought I'd be googling "plural of phallus." Anyway, turns out either phalluses or phalli is correct. Bet you didn't know that!)

At first glance, a normal temple. But at second glance, things get weird.

Yes, that is a mountain of penises

Can't make this stuff up.

But I gotta say - when I die, flowers will suffice. Really.

A less awkward offering

Anyway, after much snickering like a second grader, I went for a swim. I swam back into a quiet little lagoon, where tiny fish darted in and out of the shadows of rocks. Water trickled down from the cliffs rising around me, and the sun reflected off the water, creating a glittery effect. It was so uncomprehendingly, mind-bogglingly gorgeous. It felt magical, like someplace you'd read about in a CS Lewis book. My very own Narnia. Of course I have no photos because I swam there, but like much of this day, I really feel like photos do so little to convey the beauty.

Swimming to the lagoon

Eventually it was time to go back to the boat. From there it was kind of a travel blur. The speedboat raced along for awhile before sidling up next to a ferry. We climbed over the side of the smaller boat and onto the big ferry, where we got comfortable for the ride to Phuket. After a day in the sunshine, it was nice to sit in the cool lower deck of the ferry. We putted along for about 15 minutes when a commotion startled us out of our zoned out state. Everyone seemed to be running and I felt a moment of stabbing fear. Were we sinking or something?! Why was everyone running AWAY from the doors?! Then I heard a shout of "DOLPHINS!" and joined everyone else in racing  to the front of the boat. Bryan and I didn't catch much more than some dorsal fin, but it was exciting to see wild dolphins anyway! The rest of the ride was peaceful, and when we reached the Phuket ferry dock, we waited awhile for some of the people to clear out. We relaxed in our seats, watching the sea eagles fly overhead and periodically dive into the water for fish. When we finally got off the boat, we were ushered directly to a van that took us to the airport, about a 30-minute ride. Aside from worrying about the poor, carsick girl in the van with us, the ride was uneventful. We got to the airport  in plenty of time, changed out of our swimsuits, and ate some pad thai at a restaurant run by Thai Airways (accompanied by some super annoying children who were, literally, running and screaming through the place while their parents ignored them. I joined the legion of customers passive aggressively glaring until the parents seemed to catch on about 10 minutes later, and situated their hellions in front of a TV). The flight was on time and smooth, and we were snug in our beds by 2 AM and up at 7 AM to go to work!

Thailand Day Four: Khao Phanom Bencha

Our fourth day in Thailand began quietly with coffee out on our balcony. We watched a couple of lizards chasing each other on a palm tree, and enjoyed the pretty flowers and birds before going down to the hotel's awesome breakfast.

Scaly-breasted munia in a palm tree by our balcony

Flower about the size of a salad bowl

Flying dragon and gecko chase

Magpie robin

Bryan and I had been looking forward to visiting Khao Phanom Bencha National Park, known for its waterfalls and wildlife. We were hoping to get a ride out there and explore on our own, and to arrange a ride back. It turns out that Ao Nang and Krabi aren't really accustomed to tourists wanting to do things on their own, and every time we asked anyone about a ride to the park, they launched into a spiel about guided tours and half-day trips and full-day trips. Eventually we managed to hire JUST a driver, who would hang out at the park and wait for us all day. That seemed like a strange arrangement to me, but whatever. We didn't want to join a big tour and spend the day being shuffled around the park with a bunch of other people.

The ride out to the park took about a half hour, and it was fun to see the scenery around us slowly changing from beach to mountains and forests. A big mountain emerged through the hazy sky, and our driver told us that it was Khao Phanom Bencha (or Benja), the mountain for which the park is named (and one of the 1001 Natural Wonders You Must See Before You Die).

On our way into the National Park

At the park, we hopped out of the van, paid the entrance fee (about $5 USD), rejected one more offer for a guide, and set off to explore. We followed signs leading to Huai Sakae Waterfall. The trail led us first through a grove of young trees, heavily populated by the same changeable lizards and flying dragons that we're used to seeing in Singapore.

Posing changeable

It was strange being in the forest. The leaves crunching underfoot, the tall, sturdy trees, and the water babbling over rocks nearby all called to mind places we've hiked in the U.S. - Montana, Ohio, Minnesota, etc. But the dense jungle air and exotic birds calling overhead reminded us that we were indeed in the tropics. At first, the path was easy, and we moved along quickly, stopping only occasionally to admire flowers and plants.

Dainty pink flowers

Crazy intertwined trees

Colorful!

Funky fungi

Unfortunately, before long the trail got pretty rough. It looked like it had recently been washed out in places. This was the first evidence we'd seen of the floods we'd heard so much about. We pushed on a little ways and encountered some other hikers. They told us that they hadn't been able to reach the waterfall either, as the trail was too damaged. We managed to get close enough to catch a glimpse of the waterfall through the branches of a fallen tree before turning around and heading back the direction we came. As we walked we were joined by three friendly dogs romping through the woods.

Can we hike with you guys?!?!

When we got back to the beginning of the trail, we decided to follow a separate trail to another waterfall. Before we started out on another hike, we thought we'd swing by the park headquarters and see if they could tell us whether the other path had been damaged. There was no one at the headquarters except a friendly cat sleeping in a patch of sunlight at the front door, so we decided to try the next trail on our own. Even on the walk through the semi-manicured grounds near the headquarters, we saw some neat stuff, like this elaborate spider home.

Step into my web

Fuzzy little caterpillar

Waxy pink flower

 We started following the Dog Slide Nature Trail to the Huai To Waterfall, and were quickly rejoined by the friendliest of the three dogs that had romped up to us earlier. She frolicked up to us, then past us and right into the stream next to the trail. I can't wait until I have my own dog!

So cute

Before we'd walked very far on the trail, we came to a little temple. Aside from being very scenic, it turned out to be a wildlife hotspot. Best of all, we saw a BAT! Bryan was so excited I thought he was going to have an aneurysm. It was a common fruit bat, also known by its infinitely more awesome name, the "lesser dog-faced fruit bat." It was so stinkin' adorable! Look at that sweet little face!

Quaint little forest temple

Lesser dog-faced fruit bat

Shield bug

Creepy brown spider

We didn't have to walk very far along the trail before getting to the waterfall. At first it looked like it was pretty small, but then we came around a bend and saw that it just kept going and going- there were layers to the waterfall, multiple waterfalls flowing into their own separate pools. It was stunningly beautiful.

Huai To Waterfall

I yanked off my hiking boots and waded in the pools and climbed all over the slippery rocks. Bryan set up the camera on the tripod and experimented with photographing the fast-moving falls.

That's me on the left for some size perspective

Just like Indiana Jones

We enjoyed the falls in solitude for awhile before being joined by some Thai kids, who scampered up the rocks and jumped in the water. They looked like they were having a fantastic time.

Waterfall kids

I waded back out of the pool and as I was tugging my boots back on, something caught my eye. At first I thought it was a really colorful lizard tucked into the rock crevice, but then I saw that it was a cute little frog! Yay! If you look really closely at the picture, you can see Bryan and me reflected in the frog's eye.

Any frog fiends out there have an ID for me?

We started  up the path along the waterfall, climbing higher along the different levels. I got really excited when I saw movement in the foliage between the path and the waterfall. We spotted this green lizard doing an incredible job of blending in with his surroundings. Its yellow-ringed eye and pale blue coloring on its neck were unfamiliar to me and I thought we'd spotted a lizard species we hadn't yet seen in Southeast Asia. Upon returning home, a little research revealed that it was just an ordinary green crested lizard. Apparently their appearance differs a bit with geographic distribution. This one also appeared a little unusual because it was in the process of molting.

Green crested lizard

We reached the highest level of the waterfall and veered off the path to check out the little pool. There on the sand were a bunch of bright butterflies, flitting on and off the little beach. They reminded me of the butterflies we'd seen by the river in Sumatra.

Butterflies on the beach

 The upper part of the falls was serene. For a long time, it was just Bryan and me, hanging out by the water and looking for wildlife.

Top of Huai To

Fast water

Unlike the first trail we'd tested, this one was mostly free of flood damage. The only evidence of destruction we saw was near the beginning of the path, where some workers were toiling to replace railings and stepping stones near the waterfall. After that the path was more rugged but undamaged. It just kept going up, up, up. We stopped once for lunch (subs we bought at Subway earlier in the day) and a few more times to admire plants and insects.

Unfurling purple leaf

The middle of this plant looks like a rotten finger.

At one point I stepped over a root in the path and Bryan exclaimed so loudly that I thought for sure I was about to be bitten by some hideously venomous snake. It turned out just to be a huge, fuzzy spider that I'd just missed stomping on.

I shall call him Aragog.

After continuing  up the trail for awhile, we had to turn around in order to be back to meet our driver around 5. It was easier and quicker going down. Before long we were back at the waterfall, where the kids we'd seen earlier had started a raucous game of chicken. The boys were sidling out on a log balanced over one of the waterfall's pools. Once in the middle, they'd grab on to each other and try their best to fling one another into the water as the girls clapped and shouted with glee. It was fun to watch them.

The girls LOVED this!

Fun game

Near the base of the waterfall, we saw some neat little insect and spider homes. I wish I knew more about them, but all I really know is that they looked expertly crafted!

Bug house

Something big lives in there.

Around there, we saw an awesome gecko! We'd never seen one like it anywhere! His coloration was beautiful, and I loved how the black stripe on his face made him look like a lizard bandit.

A banded slender-toed gecko (Thanks, Ivan!)

We also spotted some of the strangest insects I've ever seen. A bunch of them were clinging to the trunks of a couple of trees. We later identified them as lantern bugs. I'm still transfixed by their bizarre elegance.

Pretty lantern bug

As we headed back to the car to meet our ride back to Ao Nang, we even saw a couple more fruit bats flying around and hanging under the eaves of some disused buildings near the park headquarters. Our driver appeared relieved to see us, as though he thought us city slickers might have wandered into the jungle never to be seen again. And he was apparently in a hurry to get pack, tailgating other cars, swerving onto the almost non-existent shoulder to skirt slow-moving motorbikes, and honking all the way. At that breakneck pace we were back in no time. Having only had Subway and granola bars all day, we were eager for dinner so after I took a few minutes to recover from my carsickness (how could that have happened?!), we cleaned up a little and headed right back out for food. Too hungry to be choosy, we chose one of the first food places we came to, a spacious restaurant called Tanta's. Wanting Thai food, but lured in by their wood-fired oven, we ordered a hodge-podge meal of pizza and pad thai, and shared both. Even after all that tasty food, Bryan was STILL hungry and ordered satay, which he polished off in no time!

After we were nice and full, we walked around to a few tour companies, trying to arrange a good deal for the next day, our last in Thailand. We were hoping to find a way to get out to some of the smaller islands before heading back to Phuket to catch our night flight.  We got something all worked out with a fast-talking woman at one of the companies, and just as she was about to run our credit card, WHUMP! The power went out! At first we thought it had gone out everywhere, but the lights were still blazing bright on the opposite side of the road. On our side it was out for a couple blocks, with a couple of exceptions (somehow the 7-11 two doors down was lit up like a Christmas tree). Not to be deterred, the tour lady marched us across the street to her friend's place and took our payment there. As we walked back to our hotel, we watched waiters scrambling to light candles and shopkeepers shuttering up early for the night.

Our hotel was still brightly lit when we got back, and we took advantage of our electricity to watch some Alice in Wonderland on the movie channel as we tucked into bed, beat from a long day of hiking and adventuring.